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NVC Resources on Empathy

  1. It’s All About Please and Thank You

    It’s All About Please and Thank You

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/3/2019

    Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or thank you in your conversations today.

  2. By focusing on NVC process and practice without factoring in the interdependent, systemic dimension we unwittingly diminish the power of NVC. We reinforce the dominant paradigm, rather than challenging it -- making NVC one more tool for compliance. NVC principles can turn against its own purpose in cruel ways. NVC could also empower social change. We'll need our attention on this matter if we are to contribute to transforming the oppression we face and our collective march towards extinction.

  3. CNVC Certified Trainer Lore Baur asks: "Have you ever seen something happen that made you feel uncomfortable and you didn't know what to do?" That's the "bystander effect:" a well-researched and commonly experienced phenomenon. Training can help you overcome it, enabling you to discern what to do and how to support others in ways that reduce trauma and increase safety.

  4. Getting Past Childhood Trauma To Transform Your Chronic Jackal Messages

    Getting Past Childhood Trauma To Transform Your Chronic Jackal Messages

    (8 Session Course)

    Susan Skye

    Multi-session Course · 7 - 9 hours · 10/30/2020

    Join Susan Skye as she guides you to experience profound transformation of the inner jackal messages resulting from childhood trauma. Discover how the limbic system of the brain works, and transform jackal messages stored there with compassionate connection.

  5. The Neuroscience of Privilege, Power and Status

    The Neuroscience of Privilege, Power and Status

    Sarah Peyton

    Articles · 15 - 23 minutes · 10/2/2020

    Understanding how our brains operate in relation to power, privilege and status is important if we wish to build a world that works for all. This article gives an overview of the brain tendencies we have in relationship to groups, and provides remedies to counteract the automatic labor-saving devices of our human brains (which often prevent us from seeing the fullness of others, and our own, humanity).

  6. How I Continue to Mess Up Being an Ally

    How I Continue to Mess Up Being an Ally

    Oren Jay Sofer

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 7/25/2020

    Working for racial justice is a shift in perspective—a shift in understanding and empathy that leads to a change in our actions: to listen instead of talk, to follow instead of lead, to yield rather than dominate. And to accept that I will continue to mess up. Part of working to undo racism is having the humility to know when our own understanding is limited. Read on for more this, and how it relates to meditation -- plus personal and collective liberation.

  7. Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/15/2021

    Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

  8. When Hearing A “No”

    When Hearing A “No”

    Demanding Versus Persisting

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/20/2021

    Trainer Tip: When they say "no", acknowledge what people are saying "yes" to. From there, you persist towards a resolution that values both party's needs, without demand. Persisting is when we try to meet needs by continuing to connect with another. Demanding is when we insist someone do something, or else face negative repercussions. Showing care and willingness to work with people can help them to want to collaborate and resolve conflict.

  9. Making A Connection In A Difficult Situation

    Making A Connection In A Difficult Situation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/17/2022

    Trainer Tip: Whether there is the potential of physical or emotional violence, listening deeply to the underlying needs of the people in conflict can be swift, direct, and healing. Look for opportunities to defuse conflicts by reflecting the feelings and needs of the other person.

  10. Getting Beyond Our Judgments So We May Connect

    Getting Beyond Our Judgments So We May Connect

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/26/2022

    Trainer Tip: Thinking someone is bad, wrong, or evil can make it more difficult to connect with them. If we focus on this kind of thinking, we stay in the problem or conflict. The minute we step out of judgement and listen for the needs underlying their actions, we begin working for the solution. Put your focus in the direction of the result you want. Read on for an example.

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