NVC Resources on Dialogue
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This one page colour handout illustrates the focus options or intention options for connection: empathy (verbal and non-verbal), self expression, and self connection (opening our heart to self and/or others). It also offers some suggestions for how to say these things to self and others.
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Liberation For All
How We Can Talk Differently About Power And Privilege
Whether we have more or less power and privilege, anything without liberation for all is within patriarchal separation, and will continue cycles of oppression. To liberate ourselves and one another we need to increase our collective capacity through developing related knowledge, skills, research; build an understanding of patriarchal roots; confront lovingly; co-hold dilemmas about privilege; co-shape outcomes; etc.
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Often, honoring someone’s choice supports more connection. Thus, checking in with someone’s choice to listen or not (offering autonomy) sets the stage for being heard more fully. On the other hand, when someone has the perception that you are talking to them without considering their choice, resentful listening might result. Here are ways to mindfully check in about choiceful listening before starting a conversation.
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Ask the Trainer: "Can you share stories of transforming group conflict, or is NVC strictly intended for 'one-on-one' work?"
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Tips for the Road Series Tip 6
Ask to Understand
Who does not want to be understood? In Tip #6, Eric shows you how to deepen connection and trust by checking your understanding with the person you are conversing with.
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In this video download, expert parent trainer and author of Parenting From Your Heart, Inbal Kashtan responds to the age-old question: "Why do children do things to annoy parents?"
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Trainer Tip: When I have conflict in my life with someone, especially recurring conflict, I like to find out what the conflict is showing me about myself.
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Tips for the Road Series Tip 24
Shine a Light on Your Shadow: Projection Detection and Reclaiming Disowned Parts
How do you know when you’re projecting disowned parts or replaying old relationship dynamics? It’s hard to know for sure, but if you find yourself upset or shutting down and unable to have a dialogue in which you can speak clearly about your feelings and needs and empathize with the other’s feelings and needs, there is likely a projection. The stronger your reaction, the more likely you are projecting.
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Trainer Tip: Oftentimes, when we mix an evaluation and observation, we promote defensiveness in other people. When we are able to separate the two, we are more likely to create opportunities to promote open dialogue about our concerns. Be aware of your evaluations and observations today.
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Inbal speaks to a group about our habit of demanding something of our children but making it sound like a request, the components of a true request and the importance of being honest when making a demand.
