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Miki Kashtan hosts Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a mother who is experiencing a strained relationship with her recently married daughter after a verbal “attack” from the daughter. Miki guides the caller to connect with her feelings of fear and her needs for ease of connection, and to further connect with her daughter’s needs.

We each have the power to be the creator of our own inner experience, no matter what is going on externally. The moment you imply wrongness on others, you give power to them. In this excerpt, Aya Caspi shows that the more self-responsibility you take, the more freedom you will have.  

Building your body and mind awareness can help you better regulate/calm your emotions.  Regular self-empathy will help you better regulate your emotions as well as increase your body and mind awareness.  If you are not aware of amygdala activation (fight/flight/freeze response), you will react instead of responding with choice. Use this eight-step process to develop your self-empathy/regulation skills.

Mindfulness is paying attention in a balanced and nonjudgmental way. To practice mindfulness is to uncover our own biases, revealing we less neutral and objective than we think. This takes great humility. Each time we become aware of our own unconscious biases and blind spots, our world expands. Read on for more about practices to help us see, and transform, our own biases.

Whether its pandemics, climate change, damage to the environment or other massive challenges that humanity faces, what are we to do if we can't agree on even the most basic information and knowledge? From empathic understanding we can focus on shared, universal human needs (where there is no conflict or disagreement) underlying our perceptions, and feelings. Then we can see if there are ways we can agree on to meet those needs.

Listen to Jim and Jori Manske share their understanding of discernment to gain clarity, insight, and wisdom for making life-serving distinctions and choices.

How do you know when you’re projecting disowned parts or replaying old relationship dynamics? It’s hard to know for sure, but if you find yourself upset or shutting down and unable to have a dialogue in which you can speak clearly about your feelings and needs and empathize with the other’s feelings and needs, there is likely a projection. The stronger your reaction, the more likely you are projecting.

Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."

Trainer Tip: People struggle to come to agreement when they don’t feel heard. So as a mediator, facilitate the process by asking all parties to reflect the essence of what's important to other parties. This is critical. Once everyone is confident that their needs have been heard, you'll notice the energy in the room relaxing. Then you can brainstorm strategies that will value everyone’s needs, and are focused on what they want to happen.

Our craving for love, acceptance, and approval can lead us to show only parts of ourselves and hide others. This lack of authenticity breeds disconnection and mistrust, leading to those very needs not being met. Once I accept myself, being authentic is easier. And then people in my life can love me for who I really am, warts and all.