Browse the NVC Library

Here are seven self inquiry questions. Half of them can help you assess your NVC consciousness. The other half can help you move from pain, fear, resistance, judgement, criticism, and shame – to love, compassion, understanding, appreciation, curiosity, and more.

Read this short Japanese parable that symbolically illustrates the outcomes of having a competitive mindset – in contrast to an interdependent, collaborative one where everyone wins. It’s a story that encapsulates part of the spirit of NVC.

In this interactive video, Susan Skye helps you unlearn existing, negative associations with the term "needs" to instead build a new association grounded in your natural state of compassion.

When something happens that we don't like no amount of resentment nor magical thinking will make it disappear. Instead, we can mourn to dissolve our own resistance, resentment, and numbness of resignation. Mourning can allow us to feel pain with acceptance, and without needing to be okay with what happened. Acceptance can bring us to a place where even all the anguish in the world is fully, part of life.

What would the world be like if there was flow between all of us based on "mutual giving from the heart"? Using examples, this article offers models for us to follow that could inspire us to treat our NVC practice as one of compassionate giving and receiving.

Children often ask adults “Can I…?” This question is so common that we carry it with us into adulthood, often addressing each other in the same way -- and more so with those we see as authority figures. However, let's unpack how this phrasing can reaffirm power differences. And see how, instead, we can transform paradigms of power in a way that invites dialogue, and co-creates an outcome that we can mutually benefit from.

How can we live life fully connected to the core values of nonviolence, no matter the circumstances, internal or external? Join Miki Kashtan as she shares the 17 core commitments that have served as a compass for herself and hundreds of others around the world as well.

Tolerating reactivity, name-calling, blaming, guilt-tripping, or stonewalling can lead to resentment and hurt. Plus, the more you stay in a reactive dynamic, the more you are likely to reinforce the pattern. Setting life-serving boundaries around reactivity is about letting another know that you aren’t going to participate in that kinds of dynamics. This means knowing what helps with handling difficulties and asking for that.

In parenting, Roxy Manning notes the tendency for self-judgment and external judgment. Roxy suggests that being a single parent or a working parent influences your ability to implement parenting strategies. The importance of assessing the feasibility of strategies in one's current life context is emphasized. Roxy encourages self-compassion and mourning the gap between desired and achievable outcomes. Her message encourages understanding personal constraints and practicing self-compassion in parenting.

Here are 14 more key differentiations that are not, at time of publishing this, on the CNVC key differentiations list. They can be used to support people who are on the path of learning and integrating NVC in making sense of their own understanding of their journey and where they are within it. And it can be used to support people who share NVC with others in offering brief information in support of understanding and learning.