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NVC Resources on Presence

  1. Resistance

    Resistance

    John Kinyon

    Articles · 6 - 9 minutes · 2/16/2023

    There are many polarizing issues we can resist and fight over. The word "resistance" can mean fighting against what we don’t agree with in counterproductive ways. It can also be the illusion and futility of mentally fighting against reality of 'what is'. But acceptance, non-resistance, of what is doesn’t mean powerless resignation. Another way to resist is to accept and love whole-heartedly, with empathy and care for the people doing the things we are resisting.

  2. Complex Truth-Telling And Empowered Change

    Complex Truth-Telling And Empowered Change

    Sarah Peyton

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 09/05/2023

    When avoidance coping or positive thinking sidesteps challenges, internal and external injustice and unrest also rises as we sidestep our values and integrity. It leaves us in sadness and distress. What's unacknowledged impacts ourselves and others undesirably. To live nonviolently we need to be in touch with what's real. With resonance we can more likely be with what's true, and trust our resilience and inner alignment.

  3. Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.
  4. Read how an American Buddhist NVC teacher with Jewish roots reflects on how any dehumanization in the Israel-Hamas conflict can be used to justify all kinds of violence that can escalate for generations. With acknowledgment of the complexities, his desire is for us to bring in respect, dignity and peace -- for both Israelis and Palestinians. He emphasizes compassionate advocacy of all humanity amid the ongoing crisis.

  5. How to Enjoy Your Family Dinner

    How to Enjoy Your Family Dinner

    Miki Kashtan

    Audio · 49 minutes · 9/18/2013

    If you dread family gatherings because of family tensions, you can find ways to excavate through piles of hardened judgments and hopelessness, build on your inner strength, and engage with family conflicts with open-hearted curiosity, greater presence, and connecting with what really matters to everyone.

  6. Attending to Inner Conflict

    Attending to Inner Conflict

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 13 - 19 minutes · 5/17/2019

    When we have an inner conflict, how can we bring ourselves closer where we want to be? Miki explains about how we can deepen our self understanding in a way that can transform our own reactivity, urges, and false either/or views -- so that we can bring in more presence, choice, and options.

  7. Help for Overwhelm

    Help for Overwhelm

    LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 2/17/2020

    Reducing overwhelm requires you to reconnect with your authentic choice, be present and compassionate with what's happening, heal trauma, and interrupt the trauma response. Read on for ways that may help you reconnect with your choice, presence and more on trauma.

  8. Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

    Expressing Our Pain Without Blame

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 3/6/2020

    The more we can stay present with our hurt, and own our interpretations, we are more likely to express what's important to us without blame and also to become resilient. From there, the listener can have more space to offer their full presence and empathy. Read on for more.

  9. Transforming Bias

    Transforming Bias

    Oren Jay Sofer

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 2/10/2020

    Mindfulness is paying attention in a balanced and nonjudgmental way. To practice mindfulness is to uncover our own biases, revealing we less neutral and objective than we think. This takes great humility. Each time we become aware of our own unconscious biases and blind spots, our world expands. Read on for more about practices to help us see, and transform, our own biases.

  10. How To Stop Arguing

    How To Stop Arguing

    Oren Jay Sofer

    Articles · 9 - 13 minutes · 9/27/2021

    Transform arguments with these steps: take responsibility for your mind, increase your capacity for discomfort, slow down, show up and remember your values, offer understanding, take risks, and speak from your heart. Learning new skills takes time, energy and effort. However, it’s entirely possible to radically shift the way we communicate. The key is patience, persistence, and taking it one step at a time.

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